"It's like getting back to Earth's not even an option!"

Sometimes shit that your hallmate said one night when he was high and listening to the Inception soundtrack turns out to be really profound and applicable to your real life.

I leave for France in 6 hours. We're going to the airport in 3.

How this will work is that I'm flying British Airways to London, arriving tomorrow. We're then in London for two days, then transferring to Nice, France arriving in Cannes on the 4th.

Tomorrow is also Groundhog Day, at least in America, which is my favorite holiday. The best part about that is that I'm not kidding at all.

Last night began the major, major packing endeavor. By some miracle 99% of my shit has fit into and been under the weight limit for 2 large rolly suitcases, a smaller carry-on, and a "purse" which is actually a backpack. I dyed my hair, slept really well, and am ready for action. There's kind of a funny thing here though, which is that I'm not "excited" in the way a lot of my fellow Cannes people seem to be. Everyone's status is like OMG COULDN'T SLEEP ZOMG SO EXCITED FRAAAAAANCEEEEE!!! And I'm just terribly anxious, because I hate leaving, hate packing, hate flying...not that I'm not excited to study abroad in a more existential way but right now it's just kind of like FUCK EVERYTHING WHY AM I LEAVING THIS IS SO MUCH HARDER THAN JUST GOING BACK TO CHAPMAN I DON'T EVEN LIKE FRENCH THAT MUCH WHY AM I PUTTING MYSELF THROUGH THIS AGHHHH. It's a natural sort of labor pains though. Like this would naturally happen in the hours before you ripped up your life and moved to a foreign country for 4 months instead of going back to school with your friends or spending time with your family. Don't get me wrong though. I'm psyched for France. It's just the part leading up to it that's been kind of unbearable.

That being said, as the time draws nearer I'm feeling more and more ready to go, and this brings me back to the wise words of Conner that inspired this post. It feels like getting back to Earth's not even an option! In sort of a breathless (GET IT, "BREATHLESS"?? Because it's French New Wave Cinema?? Okay, I'll shut up.) way, excited way, way full of wonder...it's like getting back to Earth's not even an option. We're going, and we're going now.

I'll keep you all updated here, and unfortunately I understand we won't have wifi in London so you'll have to wait for a proper entry, but I'll write regardless and save it for later. :)

Au'revoir.

Here is a List of Things I Needed for Cannes and also Rambles

• New glasses frames. They are currently being made. They are Converse brand. I AM SO COOL.

• Polarized prescription lenses for my big Marc Jacobs sunglasses. Probably the most obnoxious thing I've ever ordered. I do try.

• Writing pens! I feel like most people who genuinely enjoy handwriting things to the extent I do have a preferred writing pen. To an incredibly specific level.

• I'm going to say "lingerie" at Victoria's Secret because it sounds cooler than "more underwear."

• Euros and Pounds. Which for some reason I just said in my head like "bitches and hos." So there's that. Also converters.

At this point I'm sure you're like, this is a really exciting list Michaela! I don't fucking care about your errands! Tell us something interesting! To which I say--NO. DEAL WITH IT. I LIKE LISTS.

According to our brand new AIFS in Cannes Spring 2012 Facebook group we need an evening gown for the film festival. Like for real?? But apparently we do. Sounds like my prom dress is going to be worth its money. I should see if I still fit into it, because I'm going to bet you I don't. Watch this be instead of me going to France to like...learn things and speak French and schmooze with production companies...going to France and trying to lose enough weight to fit into my goddamn size 2 prom dress. Hahahaha, screw LEARNING!

Just to be real with you though, in case you were concerned, I don't actually care that much, and WILL in fact be focusing on my education and career. You will note that even as I bitch about fitting into evening gowns I will probably bitch even more about sexism and anti-semitism in Europe and all of the other things I actually care about that matter (and am always bitching about anyway.)

I'm inspired by the "Shit People Say" YouTube movement right now to entertain you with some "Shit People Say Before You Study Abroad":

• "Eat lots of good food and be safe!" - Adults
• "You're going to have so much fun!" - Everyone
• "You better have sex with a French guy." - Ryan
• "If you have sex with a French guy I'll be really disappointed in you." -Tommaso

And with that, I bid you adieu.

Updates and Stuff*

*(One of the most unfortunate things about a very public travel blog is that I probably shouldn't swear nearly as much as I would like to. That is why the title is Updates and "Stuff"! Because we are public and a PG blog that adults will read! Hello adults! Please continue my employment and you general respect of my character! In return I shall try to conduct myself tastefully on the internet!)

2 and 1/2 weeks, guys. Actually, "everyone." 2 and 1/2 weeks, everyone. We use INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE on this blog. Or at least make a valiant effort towards it.

We've now arrived at the point of January where it is becoming a pressing reality that I am leaving in 16ish days. AIFS (The American Institute for Foreign Study, the company that is in charge of us abroadees whilst in France) has sent me my Pre-Departure Packet! Which was thoroughly exciting considering there were a few delays:

1. I submitted my application half a month after the deadline. Like a boss. I was not aware it existed until then.

2. I listed potentially serious medical conditions on my health form (as we all know, my body and brain are in fabulous fabulous working condition and never cause me any trouble, ever! Ah haha it is SO grand! ) and thusly had to get a bunch of doctors notes.

Yet alas AIFS is now confident I will probably not die in France. And has sent me a Pre-Departure Packet!! *angel choir!* At all the study abroad orientations I went to at Chapman, there was virtually no relevant information presented, other than the fact that we needed to get visas.

Here is a typical study abroad info session at Chapman:

Student: How will I get to Europe?

Study Abroad Person: YOU CAN GET HERPES IN OTHER COUNTRIES.

Student: What will I eat?

Study Abroad Person: PEOPLE GET RAPED IN OTHER COUNTRIES TOO.

Student: But how will I pay for housing?

Study Abroad Person: DON'T PUT YOUR WALLET IN YOUR BACK POCKET.

Student: What language do they speak in that country?

Study Abroad Person: DON'T WEAR TSHIRTS WITH AMERICAN FLAGS ON THEM.

Student: How will I take care of myself??

Study Abroad Person: YOU CAN GET PREGNANT OVERSEAS.

By some grace of God I've sort of managed to figure out how I'm getting to France and what I'm supposed to do once I arrive. Our Pre-Departure packets contain an itinerary for our orientation in London and also a list of all the people studying abroad in Cannes through AIFS this semester. Many of them have begun to friend me on Facebook. Already. I am sighing slightly. Later they will be my friends and I shall laugh like, oh, wasn't it hilarious when you friended me 30 seconds after you got that list in the mail?? But right now I'm JUDGING. Just privately stalk me until we meet and then you can play it cool like you aren't already completely familiar with my online persona. And THEN friend me on Facebook and we'll all pretend like we didn't know everything about each other already. THIS IS THE 21st CENTURY.

(Once again, if you don't know me very well or were expecting me not to be as equally obnoxious on this blog as in real life...I'm very sorry. You don't actually have to listen to me. Most people don't.)

The other thing AIFS sent me was luggage tags. That is all.

I'm going to start making a list of the items I need to start accumulating and begin that whole journey with amusing photographs. Stay tuned.