Cannes Film Festival: Part 1

IT BEGINS.

Today marked the opening of the 65th Festival de Cannes. And shit. Got. Real.

So to give you a little bit of an update, I'm interning for a company called Imagination Worldwide, which is a distributor of terrible horror films and depressing Lifetime movies. Their library boasts an array of such well-known titles as "Stripped Naked" (tagline: CASSIE'S DONE STRIPPING, AND NOW SHE HAS A GUN) and "Punishment" (review on the poster: "FINALLY! SOMETHING DONE WITH A HAMMER I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE!") and of course, how could I forget the classic, "Wake Up and Die" (The plotline of that one, I believe, is that a girl gets murdered and dies every night but then wakes up in the morning and gets murdered again in a different way. And she's naked the entire time.)

My place of business for the next two weeks.

I work out of the famous and world-reknowned Carlton Hotel, which is probably the most classy thing in Cannes. Rooms there cost 1000E a night or more, and the spires are said to be modeled after some actress' boobs (I read that in an actual newspaper) so I guess that's like a fantastic honor...The other companies that work out of the Carlton are like, Paramount and Warner Brothers and they have these big giant suites with living rooms, but ours is just two regular connecting hotel rooms with the furniture taken out and temporary walls for the gory posters that hang in my "office."

The facade of the Carlton has apparently been bought by Sacha Baron Cohen and his people, and today, while I was cooped up working, he, as "The Dictator"did a press conference outside, in character, and then proceeded to ride a camel (I'm dead serious) down the Croisette, stop traffic, amass a huge crowd, and then FALL OFF THE CAMEL, and then retreated back into the hotel. I don't know what happened to the camel, and unfortunately I didn't actually see any of it (but my friends did and I read about it/saw pictures online) but HOW. LEGIT. IS THAT. Apparently one of my roommates physically crashed into him, and I am so unbelievably jealous. Like I would really be okay for celebrity sightings in Cannes if I physically touched Sacha Baron Cohen, and in character at that. I probably would have fallen at his feet and been like, "Take me with you back to wherever magical land of talent you come from and teach me your ways and let me work on your movies, whisk me away on your camel and I shall forever be your servant..." and it would have been BEAUTIFUL. I hope I do get to see him, because after that I could probably die happy. I saw online later that he spent the rest of the day on a yacht with some supermodel where the "paparazzi" was taking pictures of them, and they organized a stunt where they were frolicking and then he "killed" her and dumped her body bag in the ocean.

Sacha Baron Cohen, you are a perfect human being.

While I wasn't staring out the window fantasizing about meeting famous character actors, I spent today at my desk being a secretary and taking business cards and playing trailers and drinking coffee and doodling and writing poetry. Tomorrow I need to bring my computer. After work I got to go walk down the Croisette and join the madness outside the Palais des Festivals (the main theater) while the red carpet started for Moonrise Kingdom, the Wes Anderson film that's opening the festival this year.

That's Ewan McGregor on the JumboTron. I died.

What this basically involved was standing on my tiptoes jumping up and down to see the JumboTron, because of course I was standing behind The World's Two Tallest Men and Tourist Lady in a Giant Hat Standing on the Fence, BUT I got to see Chris Pine and the jury (including EWAN MCGREGOR BE STILL MY HEART) and Tilda Swinton and Bill Murray and Wes Anderson...mostly just on the screen but if I craned my neck enough I could see them very tiny and from the back on the steps.

Once everyone one the crowd died down and I returned to the College. Some people are going back into to town to try and brave the later showings, but tonight I need to just go back and chill...got two weeks to brave the madness! An exciting day and an epic start, and I have to say, Cannes is a truly magnificent creature during the Festival. This is glorious, and can't wait to tell you more soon!