Here is a List of Things I Needed for Cannes and also Rambles

• New glasses frames. They are currently being made. They are Converse brand. I AM SO COOL.

• Polarized prescription lenses for my big Marc Jacobs sunglasses. Probably the most obnoxious thing I've ever ordered. I do try.

• Writing pens! I feel like most people who genuinely enjoy handwriting things to the extent I do have a preferred writing pen. To an incredibly specific level.

• I'm going to say "lingerie" at Victoria's Secret because it sounds cooler than "more underwear."

• Euros and Pounds. Which for some reason I just said in my head like "bitches and hos." So there's that. Also converters.

At this point I'm sure you're like, this is a really exciting list Michaela! I don't fucking care about your errands! Tell us something interesting! To which I say--NO. DEAL WITH IT. I LIKE LISTS.

According to our brand new AIFS in Cannes Spring 2012 Facebook group we need an evening gown for the film festival. Like for real?? But apparently we do. Sounds like my prom dress is going to be worth its money. I should see if I still fit into it, because I'm going to bet you I don't. Watch this be instead of me going to France to like...learn things and speak French and schmooze with production companies...going to France and trying to lose enough weight to fit into my goddamn size 2 prom dress. Hahahaha, screw LEARNING!

Just to be real with you though, in case you were concerned, I don't actually care that much, and WILL in fact be focusing on my education and career. You will note that even as I bitch about fitting into evening gowns I will probably bitch even more about sexism and anti-semitism in Europe and all of the other things I actually care about that matter (and am always bitching about anyway.)

I'm inspired by the "Shit People Say" YouTube movement right now to entertain you with some "Shit People Say Before You Study Abroad":

• "Eat lots of good food and be safe!" - Adults
• "You're going to have so much fun!" - Everyone
• "You better have sex with a French guy." - Ryan
• "If you have sex with a French guy I'll be really disappointed in you." -Tommaso

And with that, I bid you adieu.