How Alex Got Curb-Stomped in Rome: A Story I Wasn't Actually There For

This weekend, while we were partying in Monaco, a group of people went to Rome. I was not among them. However, they told me a fantastic story about it today at break, and I just feel the need to tell you, because it's really that great.

Alternative titles for this post included:

• I Wasn't There When This Happened
• Something that Happened in Rome (While I Was in France)
• A Story I Heard During Repose at the Foyer
• What Happened to the People who Went to Rome This Weekend
• Meanwhile, in Rome...

Four girls from AIFS and Alex were in Rome, partying at a small club as part of a pub crawl. The girls got onstage to dance, and Alex managed to get up there too, even though guys weren't allowed onstage. The bouncer was trying unsuccessfully to get him offstage and lost it and lunged for him, but Alex like leapt off the stage and ran off into the crowd, the bouncer following him. The girls figured Alex had gotten away safely, so they stayed onstage to finish the song before going out to look for him. They couldn't find him, and thought he'd just gotten kicked out, so they went outside, and there was a huge group of people standing around Alex, who was laying in a pool of his own blood on the sidewalk.

It is not clear exactly how this came to be, but it is understood that the bouncer either punched him in the back of the head and he fell, or the bouncer grabbed him by the back of the head and slammed him into the sidewalk. The second one is the current operating theory. As we were told this, Karnig screeched, "You mean they CURB-STOMPED HIM???" Which is how this entry got its name. So, Alex is laying in a pool of his own blood, and as the girls explained to me, "Our personalities just came out magnified." One of them starts sobbing, two of them start laughing hysterically, and one of them goes up to him all in savior-mode and starts being like, "ALEX. DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM. DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? WHAT YEAR IS IT?" and called an ambulance...and then proceeded to get out a camera and take pictures. (I feel like that would have been me in this situation.) And Alex is just laying there laughing, bleeding out his forehead, and eventually an ambulance came, and they fixed him up for free right there, and then the girls took him to the next pub, all soaked in blood, gave him a shot, and took him home. He's doing just fine.

THE END.

(Photo from Facebook)