Unfortunately, no longer having the teacher I had at the beginning, Claude (I'm now on my third one) no one has been yelling at us or making fun of us with nearly as much gusto as he could muster. My current teacher, Anique, whose name I have probably misspelled (desolée), however, is much like the girl form of Claude, and was recently explaining to us about Marseilles, and all the reasons it's stupid. Obviously. As with all places and groups, there are stereotypes, and she took it upon ourselves to impart the following knowledge, ACCORDING TO HER:
- People in Marseilles have a stupid accent* and sound like idiots. They also exaggerate everything, such as the size of a fish they have caught, or, it is implied, other things as well, and hate everyone who isn't from Marseilles. But everyone hates them back. So it's whatever. (*If you speak some French I shall explain it thusly, instead of "pain" or "bain" they pronounce it "paigne" or "baigne"and also pronounce the "e" hard at the end of words such as "jaune")
- The stereotype of people in Nice/Cannes is that nobody works and all they do is play bocci ball all day and drink pastis. Also that it is full of slutty younger girls that border on prostitutes and dirty old men who stare and sit around whistling at them. I will not negate any of these claims.
"Valeria, je m'endors! Où est-ce l'énergie mexicaine??" (Valeria, I'm falling asleep. Where's some of that Mexican energy??) #ShitFrenchTeachersSay
IN OTHER NEWS:
- You know that tumblr Accidental Chinese Hipsters? I'm going to start one called "Accidental French Steampunks" because truly...it's a thing. Especially in the south of France. Everyone here always looks a hot mess. Today I saw a woman wearing a black under-bust corset over her purple blouse and bloomers tucked into her black boots covered in buckles. And a big coat.
Now for a Story from Room 100:
Last night, Jenn, Molly, and I all decided to go to bed on the early side, when what should we hear but a KNOCK at our window/door to the balcony! Now. This wouldn't be weird if we didn't have, oh I don't know, THE ONLY BALCONY AT THE COLLEGE AND ALSO ARE A WHOLE STORY UP? Jenn and Molly opened the door, only to find two drunk Mexican teenage girls from the high school that's on a trip here. How did they get onto the balcony? No one knows. We asked what they were doing and they said, "To make new friends! We knew you were awake. We were watching you. You were on your laptop and you were talking." Molly says, "Aren't you cold?" They reply, "No, WE'VE BEEN DRINKING!! HAHAHA!! It helps with the cold!" And Jenn was like, "Yeah, clearly, well we're trying to go to bed, so I guess we'll see you later." And they shut the window and came back inside. The girls were still on our balcony.
Now, something that must be understood is that Jenn is on a crusade against the Mexican teenage boys that are currently living next door to us. They have somehow managed to get some serious speakers and like, a bass, and BLAST music at all times of day or night. They're just in there raging 24/7. You can hear it clear as day and loudly in our room. It also must be understood that they only listen to Drake. Also, one of them is learning to play guitar, and all he does all day is sing the same three lines of "Wonderwall" very badly, at the top of his lungs. We've gotten them in trouble a few times, and also these girls that were screaming in the stairwell after quiet hours. We've turned into crotchety old people, and these young'uns are making too much damn noise! Everyone just sleeps all day at the College...you can't be blasting Drake and screaming all the time! Get your shit together.
So as soon as Jenn and Molly come inside and close the door, they put on their shoes and gleefully run down to the reception to get the girls in trouble, because HOW FUCKING CREEPY WAS THAT? Especially because we were sure they came out of Drake's Number 1 Fan's window. I am still in bed pretending to be asleep because I was Not In The Mood For This Shit. They come back in with one of the men that works for the College, who goes outside to catch the girls. They weren't there, so he BARGES INTO DRAKE'S ROOM and bitches them out. He told us the girls and the boys were there, and that he sat them down and said, "I'm not bullshitting you, if you pull this stuff again we will take your cards and kick you out of the College. Onto the street into the middle of the night. I'm not bullshitting you. This is the third time we've been called up to deal with you and this is not acceptable." (Have I mentioned how glorious it is sometimes that France has no notion of political correctness?) After he told us the story, we thanked him profusely and said goodbye, and then we went to bed.
The End.
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